What if I tell you that 5 love languages can fix your sexual relationship with your partner?
It is common to lose interest in sex when you are in a long relationship or marriage. Plus, according to WedMD, “A recent study showed that nearly one-third of women aged 18 to 59 suffer from a lost interest in sex, and it’s not all in their heads.” (WebMD, 2020)
There are various reasons causing the lack of sexual desire. It could be stress, spats between partners, problems at work or even health issues like sexual dysfunction.
Fret not, add some love languages in bed and perhaps you can find the sparks again!
What is Love Languages?
Dr Gary Chapman has explained in his bestselling book, The 5 Love Languages – The Secret to Love That Lasts on creating lasting relationships.
Sold over 12 million copies in 50 different languages, this book has obtained worldwide attention on its secrets.
Based on his concept, he broke down love to 5 different languages: Words of Affirmation, Act of Service, Physical Touch, Quality Time and Gifts. And these languages are,
5 Types of Love Languages
- Words of Affirmation – praises and positive words
- Act of Service – doing a favour like washing the dishes, doing laundry
- Physical Touch – not limited to sexual intercourse only, more of like non-sexual touches: cuddles, hugs, holding hands
- Quality Time – time spent together without distraction
- Gifts – materials that are given with thoughtfulness shown, it doesn’t have to be anything expensive
It’s useful to know your love language, and your partner’s love language so you can find the best ways to show each other your affection. Sex can absolutely be an expression of love, and you can deepen your levels of intimacy by trying to incorporate love languages into your sex life.
Take the quiz and find out what your love language is!
To improve on you sex life, bring love languages to bed with you.
When Love Languages Comes to Bed
Now you know what are the 5 love languages, but let us put it in the bedroom context.
#1 Love Language: Words of Affirmation
Words of Affirmation is actually the most popular love language. Well, this is where you do all the dirty talking! Compliment them, tell them they look hot, how you would want to take their pants off. Remember, say it like you really mean it.
If they are doing a fine job pleasuring you, you can compliment them with “you’re really good on that”, “you never fail to turn me on”, “I love it when you ___”. The more you say it, the more aroused you and your sexual partner would be.
#2 Love Language: Act of Service
Besides, practicing acts of service will definitely boost the affections between. Focus on their pleasure, give them a really GOOOOD time.
Be more selfless. Clean up the bedroom. Run them a soothing bath. Give them a full body massage. Perform an oral sex with 100% attention given, or something they have been longing for you to do (make sure you are comfortable with it too).
Simply prioritizing their pleasure over yours, without expecting anything in return. However, sex should ideally be a reciprocal thing, once in a while your partner will also dedicate yourself to satisfying all of your sexual whims.
#3 Love Language: Physical Touch
If you are already on a sexual ride, there will definitely be skin-to-skin steamy moments. Plus, there are so many more touches you can try to add up on hotter sensations.
Grab that ass, hold their thighs, let them feel your fingers running down their back with light scratches, use a feather, some ice or even your tongue. Try different sex positions, leave them hickeys (if they are into it) and don’t just lie there! Get in the work and seduce each other more and more.
Here are some useful tips on the best sex position to increase physical touches. Your ultimate goal should be getting as close as possible, riding to climax together. Don’t forget to give them some cuddles after sex, they will feel oh-so-loveeed.
Sex is more than the actual act of making love. It’s about connecting with your partner emotionally, mentally, and physically.
#4 Love Language: Quality Time
Quality time people are the ones who probably enjoy easing into sex the most. They like to wake up in the morning, just to look at the sunrise before engaging in morning sex. A pillow talk before gettin’ some late night sex.
If your partner is a quality time person, practice being truly present with your partner during intimate moments. Take it slow, enjoy your time as you tease. Get in the mood together with deep eye contact, soft talks.
Ask yourself, are you really making love or are you having sex for the sake of it?
#5 Love Language: Gifts
Spice things up by getting them a sex toy or trying on a new piece of sexy lingerie! Otherwise, you can always surprise them with some flavored lubricant, different shades of bedding, even flower petals for the bed or in the bathtub.
Having a partner who prefers love to be expressed through gifts is simply someone who needs to be surprised. Get more creative when it comes to showing your partner how into them you are and how exciting it is to have sex with them. However, a great thing about this one is that it benefits you by helping liven things up in the bedroom too.
Falling in love is easy, staying in love is the challenging part.
As cliche as this old saying sounds, we can’t deny those are words of truth.
Love languages examining the ways you like to show love and the ways we like to receive it. Hence, there can be differences between the ways we like giving and receiving love with our partners.
Lastly, if you want to have a relationship that lasts, it’s time to build that lust in the love language context. Let’s get the libido going!